Hey my name is Julia, to my friends i'm known as Jools, Jewie, Jules, Juju, Julie, Double J Double H etc. I'm Danish and just moved back to Denmark from Singapore. I have my 3 best girlie friends who make up Jools and her Fools which are Star, Lexy and Bee, and my best guy mate atm is Lai. I've been loving my time in Singapore and i'm currently seventeen and turning eighteen on the 15th of July. hope you guys like my site :) x
Summer
[] have the best summer yet!
[] Keep in touch with my Fools
[] Exercise through out the summer
[] Not die from frost bite as it's cold
[] Have a fantastic 17th birthday
[] Do a little of this and that
[] Keep my site updated and not slack
it's that feeling when you stay still in time and everything moves in a fast motion. your mind and body stays behind, but your eyes capture every image, of every second of the time being. i don't know whether it's because i have become numb to everything in the world, or that everything that i witness i don't want to accept. it's not because i don't want to be here in the present, it's just that i feel like the world is caving in on me and i don't want to move past this point in my life. it's the feeling that everything is comfortable. It's safe. It's home.
i don't want to have complete responsibilities yet. i don't want to grow up. yes i'm looking forward to many things in the upcoming future, but the idea is better than reality. Reality is when you actually start moving into the new apartment, you start uni and then you make means by doing things yourself, you clean you cook, you shop, you work to get by. But when it all comes down to it, it because routine. it becomes a habit. something that you can't come out of it. you start this thing that everybody calls life. it's being in caged into the boundaries that society has made for you and it's when risk is no longer heard of. I don't want to go through that yet. I want freedom, something that every kid has imagined and lived but it doesn't stay with them throughout their whole lives.
so, what is our deepest fears?
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. -- Marianne Williamson
Okay, so I know I’ve become worse and worse at updating this site, but that's just because I never have internet, when I do I have lots of homework and I don't want to do anything except keep my facebook and then go to sleep.
I am completely smashed with all the work we're getting and tired of having such stressful evenings and days. I think it's also the weather that keeps me from being as content as bubbly as I usually am, I’m tired when I get up and it's freaking dark, and then I’m tired and it's dark when I come home from school. I think its called winter depression somewhere. Haha, but I don't think it should get the best of me.
I don't know what's been happening lately, it's been a big blur and a lot of things feel surreal. I have my 5 month-adversary with Soeren on Sunday and then we've been going through this weird phase together. We've been fighting without really saying anything to enrage one another we've been talking but not really talking about things. And then we pretend that things are okay when they're not. But it's not because we can't face the problem I just think that we went through this phase where we were scared of what was coming.
We have fun and talk about a lot and basically I can picture a life with him. I can picture boarding life with him it wouldn't be the same without him, but on the contrary I think that life outside the boarding would be so different. I don’t believe we would be able to have our own lives, because he doesn’t know what he wants to study and neither do I, so where do we go from there? I know I have a year and a half left till I have to worry about this but still.
It’s hard to not think about the upcoming events. Sometimes I wish that I would be done with school by the end of this year and then I would be moving out and be getting an apartment, maybe even with soeren and then begin studying in Copenhagen or Aarhus, I’m not sure yet but I want to start it soon probably in Copenhagen since it’s close to my summer house and it’s close to everyone my family knows. But I am anticipating the day I get my own bed my own everything. Just everything that you would look upon in the apartment would be mine. I know it sounds greedy in some way, but it really is what I’m looking forward to. It’s a dream of mine right now. I can’t wait to get something or somewhere i can call my own.
For the past few months i've been completely out of the whole blogging, mainly because i'm adjusting.
adjusting takes time and it take patience. but patience isn't necessarily one of my strong sides. i can be independent, dependent, kind and gentle, fierce and strong but patient has never become on of my strengths or virtues.
In the past 3 months i've moved to a new country, learned to love new people in a completely different environment with different virtues that i haven't accustomed to.
I've got a lovely boyfriend, Søren Riley, who brightens up my life. We've had good times and once in a while there comes a downer, but not too severe that i couldn't overcome it with him. He's given me a new sense of perspective on life but at the same time he makes me feel so comfortable to be myself with hin. Something i haven't found in a long time something that's been missing for a long time. Most of the times i find myself comfortable with another individual they have become a best friend but never more, so i'm guessing this time i'm lucky. I've found a person i love more than i thought was possible in someone i consider a best friend and a boyfriend :)
Another thing that's been happening lately is me trying to survive the IB programme. Wow i never expected it to be so hard yet so easy. I think the only real reason behind the easy of it is because i feel comfortable in my class to speak up and talk among my peers and i believe it's fun to be in the classes and sometimes i have an amazing schedule for the week. For example sometimes i have a full day off because lessons are either cancelled or work self hours. Which is completely okay with me instead of the whole 8.55 til 3.30 schedule i had become used to. But then there's the whole ideal of working hard in classes the ammount of work that we get is too much for the little short hours that we have of class, no offense but work doesn't go into my head that fast to be remembered so therefore i'm probably slacking way more that i should actually be doing. Well actually i like this year because for my first progress report i got 3 6's and 3 5's but that's fine because i know there is room for improvement because if i got a 7 i believe the grade would only go down because i wouldn't be participating as much so i think i'm completely fine with my grades.
But i think this is the time that i really put in some perspective of my life into the whole blog i'm writing right now. basically i think life changes the older you get, when you're younger you worry about things that shouldn't consume you completely. yes of course at that time it was the toughest thing you've ever been through and yes obstacles should be made only to make you become a better person to learn and experience. This is what man kind is about but i don't know if you can really learn if you don't experience it. I hate feeling pain and in result i push it away and the other night the first time i felt pain between me and søren i cried. because there was no other way to express it i couldn't push him away because it wouldn't help neither of us. but i think ever since then we've become stronger and we've learned to love one another more than we did before. I appreciate it. And i truly do love him. It's again something inexplainable something that hasn't reached my heart before. I'm happy and sometimes i'm put into this blissful state of mind just to have him around. When he's not lying next to me in my one man bed it feels empty. When he's not texting me it feels like i've lost him. And when we kiss it feels like nothing else. It's something i love to wake up to and go to bed to. He makes life good, and i'm grateful for that. It's weird to think that we knew each other approximately a week before we both knew that we wanted to be together. And guess what we're together now and it's been two months and a bit and on the 24th we've been together for 3 months.
Well i guess that's enough of an update for now, i'll get back to xanga as soon as i can!
I wish the very best for Malvin Lai on his "Down Under" cycling trip! i hope that he doesn't forget that i'm always here for him and that i miss him dearly. His lette that he wrote to me is pasted up on my wall and i love you mate! always have and always will take care and bring back a medal for me ;) hehe!
okay i guess there's a reason why i am blogging at 12midnight, but it was my mate's and exes birthday yesterday so about an hour ago, and we've been talking a lot and he was telling me about his birthday and how he had a bunch of people over for dinner and how it was nice however, he was depressed a lot because he felt that most of the people he cared about him did not care for him in the same way by showing it for example his girlfriend wasn't able to tell him more than two words, Happy birthday. In a way i think there could be lots of reasons behind it however i think at the same time how can someone do that when you love another individual? but ch-yeah i made his birthday greetings a big deal on facebook with my beautiful wall post :
and my beautiful drawing i took a pic of for him :) lol! :
but chyeah what else do i have to say today? hmmm, okay well on wednesday i was at Josie's apartment in CPH we met up at around like 2.30 by magasin in Copehagen and we chilled together and had lunch at Joe and the Juice, and then we went to their apartment to drop off my stuff and then we headed into town on a taxi bike (a richshaw) into Palads cinema and we watched "The Hangover". haha it was a great movie and it was really funny yet i think i could've spent my 70 kroners on something more amazing like the upcoming remake of "Fame" haha i can't wait to see that movie! Gaah i loved that movie when i watched it in music in South Africa! oh god i am really excited to see it! but anyways,
This week i went shopping for my boarding school and we managed to buy a lot of stuff, like my new duvet and pillow, bed sheets, pillow cases, bed sets, sheets, towels, "korklude" aka rags, face wash, body lotion and a new "Rocky Bellevue" bicycle. :)
Here's some pictures of everything i got this week:
my uncle asked me a bizarre question today, well i guess it isn't that weird but he asked me, "have you ever wanted to meet your biological parents?"
and well you know i told him well of course there was a period where i really wanted to know who they were, why they didn't want me or let go of me that young but i also told him, no matter what, i've come to period in my life where i believe that meeting or knowing my biological parents will not define the person i am today, it will not affect me in such a way that i change my perspective in life nor my behavior and the person i've grown into, yes of course the universal question is have i ever wanted to meet my parents is yes, however i do not believe it can help define me as a human being.
I strongly stay by that because no matter what i've been through, they haven't been there and the way i've grown and become the individual i am today was not brought on by my biological parents yet the parents that raised me and nutured me throughout my life are the only parents that i've known and i have grown very close to them and i love them and i don't think i would ever want someone else related to me by blood to differ my opinion of me as a human being.
Okay, seriously, this is one of the topics that annoy me the most because i hate when people are sensitive around me when they ask this piculiar question and especially when they believe that i will respond, of course i want to meet them and ask them many questions etc and i wanna know who my biological parents are, but at the same time i've grown comfortable with the person i am today and yes i may change my mind someday but right now i am liking my perspective of life and where i am right now, sorry that this is a random update but that's all i've been thinking about this whole evening, i've been making a packing list for boarding school and it's scary because it's in 2/3 weeks time... but yeah i think i'm ready for the next step in life, moving out of my comfortable zone and learning to live in this thing we call life away from the security of our parents and comforts of our homes, the next step to growing up... :)
well other than that i am praying for malvin's race (not that i have a god of any sort, but i hope everything will be perfect because malvin deserves this, he's worked hard and long for it, and he's sure as hell bound to make it!!)
Hey my name is Julia, to my friends i'm known as Jools, Jewie, Jules, Juju, Julie, Double J Double H etc. I'm Danish and just moved back to Denmark from Singapore. I have my 3 best girlie friends who make up Jools and her Fools which are Star, Lexy and Bee, and my best guy mate atm is Lai. I've been loving my time in Singapore and i'm currently seventeen and turning eighteen on the 15th of July. hope you guys like my site :) x 
